Hello my dear friends. I have been neglecting you, for which I am so sorry. I’d like to tell again, if you want daily updates, please go follow me on Instagram (@mebearc). I’m working on something new to either replace this blog or incorporate it. But definitely to more active on a platform that I can call my own.


Since I’ve tapered down my anti depressants after a good 22 years and then completely stopped taking them (all in consulatation with my doctor of course), I’ve had a bit of a rough time. I’m still off of the anti depressants, but since a couple of weeks I’m on anti psychotiscs. Only temporary. But they’re making me very slow. I mean, it’s like those dreams where you try to run, but everything goes in slow motion. My thinking is slow and my acting is slow and therefore I get hardly anything done.


Enough with the explanation. I don’t want to complain. I’m glad I’m finally off those meds and although my body and mind are having a difficult time adapting, I can already feel I will never go back on those nasty pills. If you need them then do take them. In my case, I never should have gotten them in the first place. My depressions aren’t biological. What I need is trauma therapy and that’s what I get now.


Teddy likes to wish you a merry (belated) Christmas. Well, officially not belated according to my country. We have 2 days of Christmas.




And when it’s Christmas in The Netherlands, it’s the start of the annual Top 2000. From Christmas till the New Year, 2000 of the best songs ever made. Or at least, the songs that got the most votes. I remember listening to the Top 2000 as a teenager in my small bedroom, while making art. How amazing that these days Marit hosts the Top 2000 Blog Party, where we make art inspired by the songs in the Top 2000. You can find all the details here and please join if you are inspired. There’s still enough time.


This is my entry for day 1, which was yesterday:

And today’s entry:





I’ll try to do another blog post tomorrow. If not, there’ll definitely be a new photo on my Instagram.

Happy Valentine’s Day – Teddy’s Photoshoot

Hello friends! Teddy and I want to wish you a happy Valentine’s Day! This year we took some serious business and really prepared for it. We didn’t do just one shoot. No, we actually did two! What can I say, Teddy’s so adorable and if there’s anything to celebrate, it must be love. Although Teddy likes to add having fun is equally important.

Our best pics from the first shoot:

“I don’t know who you are, but you smell funny”

“Ooh what’s this…looks interesting!”

“Ooh fun!”

“Playtime!”

“Birdie?”

“What to do with this?”

“For you!”

“What’s next?”

“What do you mean, we’re done for today?”

“Aren’t there any treats involved?”

“Saving my best smile for last”

That first shoot didn’t go too bad. Teddy really enjoyed himself with the fake rose. Best part of his game was throwing it on the floor, so I had to pick it up and lay it back on the dresser again. He also loved it when I used it as a feather toy. What I’ve learned in these nearly 18 months Teddy is with me, is if I want to have a chance of any nice photos, aka making him cooperate, it needs to be fun for him. As soon as he feels I want him to do something, he’ll do exactly the opposite. After all, he is a cat and that’s what cats do. Dogs like to please their owners, but cats can be little rebels. The challenge for me is that I have to do it all by myself. No extra pair of hands to help me keep him in place so I can stay with my camera. I’m learning with every shoot.

On to the second shoot. After viewing the photos of the first shoot, I found that all the extra props were quite distracting. Especially that toy cat with his big eyes. So I decided to do another shoot and keep it real simple. Just Teddy with his bowtie, some paper hearts and of course the rose.

He was in a very playful (read: naughty) mood. At the same time there were some wild parakeets flying around the house and their happy chattering always draws his attention, hence the look in his eyes. He’s never been an outdoor cat, yet nature tells him he needs to catch every bird he sees or hears. The pigeons are always taunting him by sitting in the balcony, close to the window, where he can see them.

I’ve save the best photo for last. He’s really playing irresitable mister Valentine here.

I hope you find a way to have a nice Valentine’s Day. If you don’t have a mister or miss Valentine in your life, there are other ways to still make it a good day. Spoil yourself. Make heart art. It can be a masterpiece or just some doodled hearts. Listen to your favourite love songs. Watch a cheesy romantic movie. If nobody sends you chocolats, go buy them yourself. And if they ask if it’s a present, tell them yes, because they will decorate it for you. It’s none of their business that it’s a present for yourself. Sometimes I like to do that. Especially when they have really nice wrapping paper. Or when I’m a bit embarres to confess it’s something I buy for myself. That happens as well.

Thanks for visiting! Oh and please do leave a comment, so I know you were here. For more regular updates, come over to my Instagram account. I try to upload a picture there every day. Bye for now!

Clair-Obscur

Today I tried low key photography with my cat as a model. I love the possibilities with this technique and I have a thing for drama. I'm not a drama queen myself, but I love drama in music and visual art.

Shot with my Pentax K5-II and the Vivitar 1 series 105mm

F11, Iso 1600, 1/124 sec, natural light from the window at the side

This photo is part of a free photography workshop I’m doing at the moment, hosted by Else Kramer. If you like to take pictures and own anything to take pictures with, you can join. I’m not sure if the workshop is available in English too, but maybe you can use Google Translate to translate the mails for you. There’s also a Facebook group, where you can share the photos you made following the prompts. If you have questions, I’m sure people will help you there. The workshop is about looking differently at art. Every day you get a new prompt mailed to you. Every prompt is inspired by a famous piece of art. Today the inspiration came from this painting by Rembrandt.

So the prompt was to take a clair obscur photo, also known as low key photography. I’m so inspired. The possibilities are endless. Here are the photos I took.

I’m also working on a mixed media and art journal blogpost, so stay tuned!

Happy Easter – Teddy’s Easter Photoshoot

Happy Easter to you all!

I did a photoshoot with Teddy for this special occasion. I’ve been gathering all kinds of fun props for the shoot. I even crocheted him some easter bunny ears, but he didn’t like them very much. I managed to shoot a couple of quick photos before releasing him from the bunny ears hat.

You can’t really blame me for trying, as it looked uber cute on him. When I do a photoshoot with Teddy, I always try to make it fun and playful for him, because I want him to enjoy it as much as I do. Plus the only way to have a chance at some decent photos is when he’s enjoying himself, because otherwise he starts playing his own game of how to avoid getting on the photo. But the most important reason is I don’t want to cause him any stress. So yes, I did try the bunny ears hat on him, but I took them back off pretty quickly.

The plastic easter eggs were big fun to him. He loved it when I started throwing some small ones into the wooden crate. It was a fun way to get his attention, both for him and me.

Or maybe he was looking for the real Easter bunny…

Mine…

Also mine…

What’s a photoshoot without some bloopers, caused by Teddy goofing around. He sure looks like the most clever cat in the neighbourhood, don’t you think?

I hope you have a great day. Fun fact: over here it’s colder outside than it was at Christmas. So I’m staying inside and will watch a movie. It’s a great day for artsy crafty fun too.